Smoke Sharks

So I had to go to the Doctor again on Monday, due to the test results of this post:
http://blogforbethy.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-morning.html

This time, it was to remove some pesky cells that have been irregular for well over a year now and were only getting worse. Now the appointment was not really that bad, but I had a few lingering thoughts that I wanted to share.

First, it is the same proceedure as featured in a colposcopy except it is called a Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure (or if you will, Dr. Hale-Bopp LEEP'd me) and the first thing they do is numb the area which is the only uncomfortable part.

Since they are essentially electrocuting your cervical cells to the point of no return until they "heat and burst." I like to pretend that maybe this is what was going on down there:

Since they are electrocuting their cells they have to stick an "electrosurgical dispersive pad" to your leg to "ground" you so you don't get electrocuted too. I imagine the logic behind this is kind of like how the safest place to be during a lighting storm is in your car, because the electricity goes through the wheels into the ground or something like that. Anyway, they stick this to your leg:

When Doctor Hale-Bopp was all done, he said, "I bet you didn't know you were getting a free waxing today!"

"Damn!" I thought. "He noticed I haven't shaved in 4 weeks."

So you are probably wondering about the Shark cartoon and subsequent name of this post eh?

The reason I decided to even write about this in the first place is because of this magical mystery machine called the Smoke Shark.

Yes, I checked the side of it to see what it was called before I left the office. They put the Smoke Shark tube next to your vag so no one throws up from the scent of electrocuted cells that is produced from this proceedure. The website touts that the Smoke Shark is "exremely effective at smoke and partical removal at the operative site" and is "excellent for use in controlling laser smoke" as well as a "superior job in odor elimination."

I honestly can't help but think that every college dorm room marijuana smoker needs one of these! Screw the old paper towel and dryer sheet method, these kids need a Smoke Shark. Gone are the days of being kicked out of housing due to unneccesarily vigilant residential supervisors. I am not sure how much a Smoke Shark costs, but I am quite sure if all the pot smokers on your floor get together and sell some CDs and pool their money, they could purchase one.

So much effort could be saved in this compact package. Maybe I should go into Smoke Shark wholesales, I think I could really get this trend started with the college population. If anyone has tried pot smoke removal with the Shark, please let me know! I need to know how well it works before I start slinging Smoke Sharks around campus.

Peace out!