Has anybody seen my tamborine?

Happy Halloween, faithful reader! I was going to post about something else today but upon seeing a particular video, I changed my mind.

It is called "Anything Can Happen on Halloween" and it features Tim Curry. You may remember Tim Curry from such classics as "Clue" and "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York." Now for a Halloween video, you may be expecting to see him look like this spooky version:

In reality, in this video he looks like this:

Take particular not of his superhot bat-shaped tie. Superhot.

There are so many good things about this video I dont know where to begin. I particularly enjoy the psychedlic background which also happens to illustrate the lyrics he is singing. Speaking of the lyrics, this video features lyrical achievements like never heard before. Take this gem for example:

"I wouldn't change places with anyone tonight.

We'll carve pumpkin faces and watch the witches flight!"

Also, see how many of the following items you never thought you would see in a video appear:

- Red fuzzy heart

- Bat shaped tie

- Fireworks in a Halloween video

- Fake snow

- A cut-out yellow sun

- Red clouds used as fake blood

Some of the things he lists that could happen on Halloween actually are pretty inaccurate. I dont really think my teacher could turn into a sardine. I don't think there will be a toad in my bass guitar. etc.

I also really enjoy his vocal breakdown during the fireworks. I now know what Tim Curry sounds like post-orgasm. Also his character apparently doesn't get out very much because he thinks New Year's eve is boring. Come to moe. with us and we can change that right up for you. I have a glow-stick filled with H with your name on it.

WINNER OF THE BEST PART OF THIS VIDEO: When the writers start to run out of things to rhyme with Halloween. I don't want to ruin the end of this for you, but it involves Tim Curry holding a tamborine singing "Has anyone seen my tamborine?"

Here is the entire video if you want to watch, I encourage a full viewing:

http://www.rockymusic.org/showvideo/a514e707aa68265788634494cd24cd12.php

xxoxox!

Big Lebowski Halloween fun!

Me and Barron made pumpkins a few weeks ago and the only image running through my head was of a Big Lebowksi themed pumpkin. After much hard work and consideration, here is the end result:


The pattern is Richard Nixon with a bowling ball, which avid Lebowski viewers will recognize from a poster on the Dude's wall. Below it says "Abide" but didn't come out very well. Barron made a video of the extravaganza, which you may find here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLyGDO8qtyc

It is quite enjoyable, and there is a surprizing deadly twist at the end, so although it is lengthy, I encourage a complete viewing.

On a whim, I thought I would send a picture of my pumpkin to Lebowskifest.com. And much to my excitement, they posted it on the homepage! http://lebowskifest.com/ It is the third icon to the right in the top row. You may have to hit refresh a few times before you see it, because the pictures rotate each time.

Happy Halloween!

Dear Bethy...

Dear Bethy,
I miss you very dearly and I just want you to know that. This week, I have been very busy and tired because we had a hearing at work and I have been staying up to watch the Red Sox. I hope that my inspiring humorous observations will return after the Red Sox win the World Series. I have just been very tired from staying up for games.

Until they win, I just wanted you to know I miss you and I love you and please don't forget to check in with this blog. And one more thing that I think would be fun is to submit Magic Hat cap sayings. Click below and you can submit ideas for caps, which I think is totally cool. Mike submitted one today that said, "If you eat a cap, it will hurt when you crap."

http://www.magichat.net/getunderthecap/index.php?frame=3

Try one yourself! xoxoxo
Shannon

Natalie Portman will NEVER be nude...

We need more Bort licence plates in the gift shop

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17344563

Bart: "Cool! Personalized license plates! Barclay, Barry, Bert, Bort? Come on, Bort??"

Boy: "Mommy, mommy, buy me a license plate!

Woman : "Come along, Bort"

Random Guy : "Are you talking to me?"

Woman : "No, I was talking to my son, who is also Bort"

McNugget McNugget What!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPd7MtTVbIw

Garbage Day!

... is what I will yell to Barron every time he has to take out the trash! There have been quite a few discussions in recent weeks about me and Barron moving in together. Where and when is up for dispute. The main conflict in what is sure to be an ordeal is the price of what we can afford. Luckily, Barron is a budding real estate tycoon, and suggested perhaps we can move into this "watery paradise" -

Oh God

I haven't even seen this episode yet.... but I can already tell I want to!!!

Barron's Big Day!

So Barron may not have won the lottery, but today he won Super Star Status at work!

Today, Barron was voted Operations Star of the Month by his team. Usually, his boss picks the winner but his team voted for him because he is a good hard worker.

He thinks he won a gift card.

Yay Barron!

Almost time for Halloween!

Spotted - Beth Watching Shows Made for High School Girls

So, tonight I watched a little show called "Gossip Girl" strictly because of this classic facebook quotation:

A "GG" M - at 10:08am on October 4th, 2007

spotted: B finding evidence of her "xtra large" fun on saturday night. looks like someone had a good time.

xoxo,
gossip girl

With hopes of joining in on the "make fun of Beth" facebook party, I decided to watch the show.

The first thing I noticed is apparently, one of their friends lost all their money and crashed a party. They promptly call him Sasquatch but sadly I own the baja he is wearing in blue. For those of you not in the know, example:


Show proceeds, beers continue to be consumed by me.

Next favorite part of the show, when blonde chick from "rehab" bumps into dude on the street. (I am the reason misinformation is spread, if you can't tell). She yells across the street to catch his attention, and then says something along the lines of: "This is what I love about this city, I am always seeing people I know!"

That is exactly how I feel about Boston! Finally, something I can relate to in the show because I am not a rich high school kid. Boston is also a city where you can never avoid seeing someone you know! In fact, yesterday, I saw someone in my employer's cafeteria who I hooked with in college and pretended not to know what he was talking about when he called me 200 times the next week.

AND!!! The next day, I saw spare change guy. I am ALWAYS seeing people I know! In fact, I have seen SPG four times in the past week outside of the First Amendment Bar. Here is this stunning figure of American culture in the flesh:

Oh Bethy, I wanted to watch the rest of "Gossip Girl" I really did. But I couldn't stop thinking about the wonder that is John Bubier. One time he asked me where I lived, and did I have a boyfriend. Despite his stench, I considered a date with him for one moment in time. "Shannon "spare change" Bubier" has a certain ring to it does it not? I am sure our engagement rings would have been made out of a gum wrapper but love is love right?

Well Bethy, for you friends who have not have the privilege of knowing this fine sample of a man, please do forward this post to them and have them watch this video. It will change their lives forever.

Spare Change Guy Discusses Sex Change Operations

Purple Pocketbook Shortage

So for some unexplained reason, the bag featured in this post: http://blogforbethy.blogspot.com/2007/10/purple.html
Is no longer available in purple!!! A tear rolled down my cheek as such information was gently broken to me early this Tuesday morning. The worst part about this development is that the pictures of the bag showing different views are still showing the Plum bag, but you can no longer select said color.

My mom told me she realized this dreadful fact on Friday, and promptly went to Macy's to see if they had a purple bag in stock because she is the best mom I have ever had. She also went to TJ Maxx. Both places did not have any Plum bags in stock! I told her I am not surprised because purple is the best color ever, and I am glad that those purple bags are making some other purple loving soul as happy as can be.

So, we found this one by the same designer, and it is similar and still purple and in stock. I guess we should "stock up."

Tuesday Tuesday!

I started writing "Monday Monday" as the post but quickly realized it is Tuesday! Thank the good lord for Christopher Columbus Day in Massachusetts and other holidays I get to stay home and watch movies for.

My trip to West Virginia was uneventful and there is some serious humor lacking in that state. The only humorous things found in the state involve redneck jokes which I do not find funny.

In other news, getting ready for work, I caught Barron using his sock instead of a q-tip to clean his ear post-shower.

He claims the sock was clean but I have my doubts. And then he put his ear wax sock on his foot.

Peter Pan Guy

You're Welcome: http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/petersFashionPage.html

New Years Seats

These seats are gonna be the bomb dig! Oh and moe. will be pretty cool too. Barron did me the biggest favor and sent me this picture. This is what Radio City Music Hall says our view will look like from our seats. In original the view looked a little better, but I hear this is an awesome place to see a show! I am going to touch Bethy's cute buns the whole time.

How to Make a Comment

Beth,

Here is how to make a comment in five easy steps:

1. Click on the title of the post you want to comment on. For example, if you like my new purple pocketbook and want to tell me how PIMP it is, click on the "Purple is Pimp" title.

2. Once you are on the page showing only that entry, scroll down to the bottom to where it says "Post a Comment" and click.

3. Once you are on the "Leave Your Comment" page, enter your comment in to the box. I quite enjoy reading your comment (the only one you left me), so please type something in to this box from time to time.

4. Type in the word verification and your identity.

5. Click "Publish your Comment."

And then you are done! You may also wish to preview your comment to make sure it is the funniest comment it can be. I hope this helpful tutorial will inspire you to comment now because you officially have no excuses.

Party on!

Purple is PIMP

Look at this purple bag my mom is buying me because is PURPLE!!

I am going to wear it like this with this same outfit on and everything:

Smoke Sharks

So I had to go to the Doctor again on Monday, due to the test results of this post:
http://blogforbethy.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-morning.html

This time, it was to remove some pesky cells that have been irregular for well over a year now and were only getting worse. Now the appointment was not really that bad, but I had a few lingering thoughts that I wanted to share.

First, it is the same proceedure as featured in a colposcopy except it is called a Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure (or if you will, Dr. Hale-Bopp LEEP'd me) and the first thing they do is numb the area which is the only uncomfortable part.

Since they are essentially electrocuting your cervical cells to the point of no return until they "heat and burst." I like to pretend that maybe this is what was going on down there:

Since they are electrocuting their cells they have to stick an "electrosurgical dispersive pad" to your leg to "ground" you so you don't get electrocuted too. I imagine the logic behind this is kind of like how the safest place to be during a lighting storm is in your car, because the electricity goes through the wheels into the ground or something like that. Anyway, they stick this to your leg:

When Doctor Hale-Bopp was all done, he said, "I bet you didn't know you were getting a free waxing today!"

"Damn!" I thought. "He noticed I haven't shaved in 4 weeks."

So you are probably wondering about the Shark cartoon and subsequent name of this post eh?

The reason I decided to even write about this in the first place is because of this magical mystery machine called the Smoke Shark.

Yes, I checked the side of it to see what it was called before I left the office. They put the Smoke Shark tube next to your vag so no one throws up from the scent of electrocuted cells that is produced from this proceedure. The website touts that the Smoke Shark is "exremely effective at smoke and partical removal at the operative site" and is "excellent for use in controlling laser smoke" as well as a "superior job in odor elimination."

I honestly can't help but think that every college dorm room marijuana smoker needs one of these! Screw the old paper towel and dryer sheet method, these kids need a Smoke Shark. Gone are the days of being kicked out of housing due to unneccesarily vigilant residential supervisors. I am not sure how much a Smoke Shark costs, but I am quite sure if all the pot smokers on your floor get together and sell some CDs and pool their money, they could purchase one.

So much effort could be saved in this compact package. Maybe I should go into Smoke Shark wholesales, I think I could really get this trend started with the college population. If anyone has tried pot smoke removal with the Shark, please let me know! I need to know how well it works before I start slinging Smoke Sharks around campus.

Peace out!