Merry Christmas from the Red Sox

Spring can't come fast enough!

Jerry Christmas!

Snow in Boston - Aftermath Edition

Snow Part 1.

SNOW PART II! On Thursday while it was snowstorming, me and Barron and Mike got drunk and went sledding. It was really fun! And a good workout. Those hills can be hard to climb in the snow! We brought a flask sized bottle of vodka with us after drinking in the house and being the idiots that we are it was almost gone by the time we even got there. Oh well!

Mike was insistant on the three of us trying to go down together but we are too heavy for one half inflated snow tube. Then Mike wanted to jump on Barron and his tube and they went down together and now Barron's rib is cracked. See here:
Just kidding that is not really his x-ray. But seriously his chest hurts and Dr. Van Damme (that is seriously his real name and Barron's doctor) said that he probably just cracked a rib. Van Damme also added that he too cracked a rib last week but I highly doubt it was a similar situation.

Basically it just hurts a lot I guess and watching America's Funniest Home Videos was entertaining because Barron was all like "HAHAHAH Owwww HAHAHA OWWWW!" And he can't sleep on that side which is impeding spooning time. And also he can't lift anything heavy. Also he couldn't shovel out his car. Guess who did that.... Hmph.

So I called in sick to work on Fri (woops) but luckily there was a nice ice storm on Sunday so that it was still nice and slippery for me to go to work on Monday! When I stay at Barron's house, I get on the train here:

Which looks like this from the actual station:

Now it may not look trecherous, but in order to get to this platform, I have to go down a large hill. Picture this: I have to walk starting from the right of that overhead bridge and come down the hill on the left. It is hard to see the sidewalk, mostly because IT IS COVERED IN SNOW AND ICE! WTF Brookline, throw some salt down or something. I saw some guy fall down the whole hill. And some other lady with a broken foot boot take 30 mins to get down it. I just watched - no need to help.

It is supposed to sleet and rain again tonight. Since when does this happen in December? I am hoping for an early spring. Until now, enjoy this message of joy from the MBTA:

"It Snowed in Boston" and other tales

Hello everyone! This post has been almost one whole week in the making. I hope you all survived this past snowstorm. It is the most it has ever snowed in Boston on December 13th EVER. Yes EVER! OMG Global warming is not alive and well in this city. I know Jenn was probably particularly affected by this because all of my other readers live in New York and I think it sleeted/rained there.

Well down to business. Before it even started to snow, of course the T was already having problems. After taking the B-line from my house inbound with the intention of making it to my place of employment on time, my trip was abruptly halted. I sat in the tunnel between Blanford Street and Kenmore (seriously we had just gotten underground) for like 20 mins before we even budged.

For once, to the credit of the t-driver, they actually honestly announced to us what the hold-up was. A train rear-ended another train at Boylston street. AND IT DERAILED! And now we all have to take buses from Kenmore. ARGH!

Now I have had to get off at Kenmore before and take the bus, which is a pain in the ass, but the last time it happened, it was not even comperable to the chaos that ensued this time. They sent buses from all over the city to come transport you while you fight with 1000 people standing in the middle of Comm ave trying to get on.

My bus driver doesn't live downtown apparently, because he didn't even know how to get to Hynes let alone the rest of the stops. He somehow let us out in Downtown Crossing, because a passenger was giving him directions and she wanted to go to Government Center. Whattamess.

Anyway, here is what the accident looked like. Take particular note of the happy Charlie guy holding the T sign. Nice work photographer!

So I got to work at 10:30, went to a meeting, and was excused by the Govna at 1 pm. Here is a nice picture of my work during this storm:

Here is what the rest of the city looked like:

It took Barron 3.5 hours to get home because no one's car could make it up the hills on Route 9 in Newton. Thankfully I take the train and it was back working when I was travelling home from work. But people were abandoning their cars from running out of gas and such. Barron's parents were stuck downtown after work in the gridlock. This is what South Station looked like when everyone panicked after the weather forecasters were unusually accurate in their prediction for the storm and everyone tried to leave at the same time:

Whoops! Well I got home safe and sound, FYI and basically huddled up for a night in. More on that in the next post! oxox Shannon

Santa Pictures

Boston.com often has special sections where they ask people to send in their pictures around a certain topic. This week/month's theme is Pictures with Santa. It is really strange that parents put their kids in the lap of a complete stranger and expect the picture to be nice. All you are getting out of this is a bad picture and now your child is crying and you have to deal with that. Do mall Santas make a lot of money to do this? The whole industry is very creepy and weird.

So anyway, people sent in a bunch of pictures, but I was surprised to see how many bad ones were submitted! Some of them are actually pretty funny. Lets get started:
This picture isn't too bad, and I have to give the Santa credit for successfully keeping this child in his lap. Two year olds can be pretty slippery when they want to be, and you can tell this kid is attempting a slither maneuver. I will note though the cheapness of the background they have in place at this facility. And although this guy's beard appears to be real, there is something unsettling about its curls. Also his hat looks too small for his head.

This Santa looks pretty happy despite the screaming terror on his leg. She doesn't even want to touch him she is so scared. This Santa has a fake beard, which works for him in this case. I don't agree with the mother's choice of dupey pink bow in the hair though. Try again mom.

Hahah this picture is pretty funny. Fake snow abounds and I particularly enjoy the candy cane themed under shirt he is wearing. It is a jolly variation on the standard Santa attire. I feel like the trick to this is throwing the kid and taking the picture before they start crying. I think I saw a funny home videos episode the other day where the parents did that very thing. I don't know how well it worked, but it was the Santa's suggestion so he must recommend it often.

This Santa is a trooper. Every picture of him with kids, they are screaming in fright. This isn't Halloween kiddies, get your holidays straight. I like this simple Santa outfit he has on, but I can tell that there are others who do not. Perhaps this child was frightened by this giant Santa throne the mall has provided for this occasion? The fabric is not particularly Christmas-y.

Hahahah nothing can describe the look on this girls face besides "sheer terror." This girl looks like she is about to be mauled by a bear or just saw that part in "The Ring" when the girl climbs out of the television. Please note this is the same Santa as the one above, inciting a near riot when he comes in contact with any child. Also he is wearing a different shirt I noticed, which adds a little flair to his outfit. Does anyone get along with this holly jolly man?

Oh look! It's the same guy but now someone brought in their dog. A pretty big f'n dog for that matter. That dog is bigger than the Santa although I guess this explains the reason for the gigantic chair featured here. This raises some questions in my mind about dog allergies. What if a kid comes in and is allergic to dogs and now there is dog hair on Santa? That mom will have a screaming crying kid with allergies acting up which are not very fun. This picture is cute though so I guess I will let it pass for humor's sake.

Last but not least:

This picture is probably the funniest santa picture I have ever seen! Thanks to whomever sent this in to the website. There are so many things going on here that I can't explain. I get the standard crying child thing. But why is there so much fake hair in Santa's face? He looks like a drunk if you ask me and he probably is. But the icing on the cake here is the boy PICKING HIS NOSE IN A BRIGHT YELLOW PROPELLER HAT! I bet you this kid dressed himself this morning. But where do you even get a hat like that? No matter what this picture beats them all.

Peas and propeller hats, Shannon

Birds

Barron thinks the saying is, "It's easier to feed two birds with one scone."

Discuss.

Barron is in a new band!

As many of you know, Barron is in a new band. They had their first show on Sunday night at Bill's Bar in Boston. Check out the new stickers:



The band is called Rude Boy Riot or RBR if you prefer (I prefer.) The other guys were in a band called Sundown (www.myspace.com/sundowncrew) but there was some kind of guy drama and they lost their bassist and now they have Barron.

They were supposed to go on at 9pm, but they didn't start until 11! I am too nice and still went even though I knew I would be tired the next day. Here is the flyer that was made by the band SOJA for the show. See if you can find Barron -

Hint he is right here: -----------------------------------------^

Hahaha. Here is the big version of that picture hiding in the corner:

Happy group right? JK they are really a lot more fun and funner looking in real life.

Anyway the show was pretty fun, they played for about 45 minutes and it was a fun time. The show was taped so if you want to check out some of the songs, please visit www.myspace.com/rbriot to listen. If you visit the Sundown site, RBR will be playing some of their songs too.

Anyway, congrats to the band!

Junk Emails at Work Occasionally have Funny Content

Holiday Giving

Christmas is a rough time financially. I have to abort any type of social life for a month to afford spending money on my family, so that they in return can do the same. Some people are easy to buy for, some people are hard (like my mom! Jeez mom). I won't tell you what I am getting everyone yet, but there is one gift I love and can't wait to give to this person.

She falls into the easy category, especially after telling me she loves this particular gift from Oprah's favorite things. I think I even heard her love mentioned by Gossip Girl and then I knew I had to buy it.

Although I hate to give reveal what I am giving and ruin the surprise, I just couldn't wait to talk about this monumental gift:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS APRIL!!!!!

Holiday Memories

Sorry for the lack of updates! I must have indulged in too much Thanksgiving fun because I have been de-motivated to do anything in the entire world. I wanted to update you on my dad's new found love for holiday games however.

As some of you may already know, my dad waited until all of us were over the age of 20 to debut holiday games at the Moore family household. It started on Easter with a racuous round of "Deal or No Deal" which actually had nothing to do with the hit television program.

One year later, much to our disappointment, the game had devolved into a much simpler game where you picked an Easter egg out of a basket and inside was the name of a golfer. If the golfer won the Masters' that day, you got a prize. Lame right!?

Well my Dad has answered our Holiday game loving prayers because this year's guessing game was "Guess What Famous Person I Have Taped onto your Back." My dad printed out papers with famous people on them and you had to guess which one you were. One of the funny parts of this is that my dad's knowledge of pop culture is deeply rooted in the time when me and my sister were in high school, so I can only imagine the pop culture icons that were running through his head.

For example, when I was home my dad asked me if had heard of this great new band called Maroon 5. Apparently he saw them on Ellen the other day and thinks they just came out.

Anyway, the names that he picked weren't too funny. I had Cameron Diaz because my dad insists I look like her which I guess is better than looking like Helen Hunt your whole life. Some comical ones were my sister got Minnie Mouse, which took her a pretty long time to figure out but I guess she was at a disadvantage. The other names involved actors and sports figures of varying degrees.

Jenn Eager was Britney Spears becuase she is a mess with two babies and a delinquent baby daddy. My mom was Shania Twain which she never ended up getting.

My sister tried to cheat because she saw some of the names before the game started but apparently my dad changed them because she saw a tag for Oprah but no one had Oprah. The question in my mind remains: Who would have been Oprah????

Anyway, Jenn won $4 for guessing Britney Spears correctly and stealing money out of our couch.

Cheers! -S

Wedding Video

This is a video my friend sent me showing a couple's first dance at their wedding. I highly recommend watching to the end! Just wanted to share. - S

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=403233

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey faithful readers! I want to say hello to Jenn who has joined the few and the proud which read this amazing page. Unfortunately, not many funny things have been happening lately, but I promise I will post more soon. Maybe my dad will think of a Thanksgiving game to complement his Easter Extravaganza game which we all love so much. I should suggest that to him because it would probably make Jenn's day.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving Day. Please think of me as you enjoy all the foods that I do not. I will be enjoying a nice plate of mashed potatoes. Perhaps even a mashed potato volcano if I am feeling ambitious. Hopefully a few days off will inspire me to write, although my mom's house makes me lethargic and every time I stay there she thinks I have mono.

Please enjoy this lovely Thanksgiving montage and have a pleasant holiday!
xoxox Shannon

Me vs. Gisele

Even though I hate it when people tell me their dreams (as in the sleeping kind, not the dream of someday marrying Johnny Depp kind), I am going to go ahead and tell you this one because I don't think I have any competition on who Barron would choose if me and this particular supermodel were duking it out over him.

In this dream, it all came down to myself, Miss Shannon Iamawesome Moore, and Gisele Caroline Fluffernutter (actually Nonnenmacher but I digress) Bundt Cake (or Bundchen if you prefer). Nice full name Gisele!

Anywho, in said dream Barron leaves me at a New Year's party nonetheless and even goes so far to kiss her at midnight while I am stuck giving them the finger in the corner. Good thing we are going to moe. on New Years or who knows what kind of omen this would be.

Now I know this comparison isn't needed, but I thought I would give you a visual tour of who would rock this contest.

This specimen:

Or this!

This "cowgirl" :


Or This:




I know this is a tough decision especially for all you Gisele lovers out there, but I think we all know who the true winner is here!







No f'n contest needed.

Beth Tell your mom that Fabio is not a Blonde anymore.... and George Clooney dislikes him!

Scandalous!

I found me and Beth's Old Blogs and I noticed we were not gay we were in fact AWESOME!!!!!

Oh dear God,

Don't ask me how I found these but I found them! Me and Beth's old blogs from Freshman year at Boston University. You may be asking yourself, "Wow you and Beth had blogs, were you guys some kind of nerds or something? Wasn't blogging not even in style back then?"

The answer my friends, is me and Beth knew that our awesome-ness needed to be documented no matter what the dorky cost. My question now is should I post the links here for all to enjoy or repost some of the entries one at a time to torture you?

The funniest and/or saddest part about these old blogs is that not much as changed. My blog was called "IheartBowie" and Beth's was "Shuzinator." Although some of the characters we interact with on a daily basis may be different, the relentless harassment is the same.

Some things that still stand or you may have forgotten about:
- Everyone we don't like is somehow labeled with a nickname or if feeling uninspired gay/retarded
- Waffle Brothel
- Bowie, Phil Collins
- Beth loves Clay Aiken
- Beth hated Ugly Beth and now I see someone who looks like Ugly Beth at work and there is also a show called Ugly Betty now
- I do not remember what an electrocuted sloth has to do with anything
- Beth hearts people with Straw Hair
- Supermarket Sweep has not yet returned to the air after 735 days


I could go on, but I just wanted to give you this trip down memory lane. I don't want to waste precious blog days posting old entries so here are the blog links:

I Heart Bowie

Shuzinator

xoxoxo Love you and miss you! S

Dirty Apartments

Recently, my roommate and I have been investing in a cleaning service. It is $90 per cleaning so I give my roommate $50 so he can tip the nice lady or gentleman or ladies or gentleman that come in to clean our hairy bathtub. I know I am holding our cleaners to a higher standard than I hold myself, but I have a couple concerns here about the job they are doing.

First things first, I know this is a weird thing to notice, but they did not clean the top/back of my television although they cleaned the screen. The reason this bothers me is because when I am dusting, I usually go out of my way to get this dust to avoid buildup and then future sneezing fits.

The other thing I am wondering is how they cleaned our bathroom mirror. It looks very clean, but I noticed that when I got out of the shower this morning, it does not steam up in the place where Barron drew a ghost in the steam three months ago.

The only reason I am even thinking about this is because I noticed your computer screen needs cleaning. Click here to clean it!

Fun with Fingernails

Something funny happened the other day but the story requires some light background information. Every two weeks or so, I allow myself a little relax time by going to get a manicure. And sometimes I even let them do my toenails! If you are ever in need of a cheaper end salon in the Boston area, I highly recommend Brookline Natural Nail. I am always greeted with a pleasant "Hi I help you honey!" and they give good cankle massages too. I stopped getting fake nails, and this picture of Sister Patterson from "I Love New York" reminds me why.



Gives me the heebie jeebies. Fake nails are too much trouble and make you look like Michael Jackson dressed as a warewolf is the lesson here.

Anyway, the last time I was at the salon, I requested a design even though I risked looking like a twelve-year old at the middle school ice cream social when they were done. She asked if I wanted a flower, which made me sad because I was reminded of when Flower died on Meerkat Manor. I told her I prefered some lines instead. Unexpectedly, she added some nail jewels on each ring finger, similar to seen below:



Surprisingly, my nail polish lasted well over a week and a half and the jewels stayed on. Usually when I get my nails done, the jewels fall off promptly upon departing the store.

So on Sunday night we were watching the World Series and the Red Sox were being awesome and I realized that one of the jewels had fallen off. I was happy that it had lasted so long! I wondered aloud, "Where has this jewel gone?" About 20 minutes later I looked over at Barron and nearly wet myself when I saw that said jewel was stuck to his lip!!! He looked a little something like this:



Oh Barron, you always make me laugh. I accused him of doing it on purpose but he is really bad at looking for things so there is no way he found that jewel on the floor himself.

Just wanted to share this little tidbit with you! And welcome April to Blog for Bethy. Now I have tworeaders!!!!!

xoxoxo S-dizzle

Has anybody seen my tamborine?

Happy Halloween, faithful reader! I was going to post about something else today but upon seeing a particular video, I changed my mind.

It is called "Anything Can Happen on Halloween" and it features Tim Curry. You may remember Tim Curry from such classics as "Clue" and "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York." Now for a Halloween video, you may be expecting to see him look like this spooky version:

In reality, in this video he looks like this:

Take particular not of his superhot bat-shaped tie. Superhot.

There are so many good things about this video I dont know where to begin. I particularly enjoy the psychedlic background which also happens to illustrate the lyrics he is singing. Speaking of the lyrics, this video features lyrical achievements like never heard before. Take this gem for example:

"I wouldn't change places with anyone tonight.

We'll carve pumpkin faces and watch the witches flight!"

Also, see how many of the following items you never thought you would see in a video appear:

- Red fuzzy heart

- Bat shaped tie

- Fireworks in a Halloween video

- Fake snow

- A cut-out yellow sun

- Red clouds used as fake blood

Some of the things he lists that could happen on Halloween actually are pretty inaccurate. I dont really think my teacher could turn into a sardine. I don't think there will be a toad in my bass guitar. etc.

I also really enjoy his vocal breakdown during the fireworks. I now know what Tim Curry sounds like post-orgasm. Also his character apparently doesn't get out very much because he thinks New Year's eve is boring. Come to moe. with us and we can change that right up for you. I have a glow-stick filled with H with your name on it.

WINNER OF THE BEST PART OF THIS VIDEO: When the writers start to run out of things to rhyme with Halloween. I don't want to ruin the end of this for you, but it involves Tim Curry holding a tamborine singing "Has anyone seen my tamborine?"

Here is the entire video if you want to watch, I encourage a full viewing:

http://www.rockymusic.org/showvideo/a514e707aa68265788634494cd24cd12.php

xxoxox!

Big Lebowski Halloween fun!

Me and Barron made pumpkins a few weeks ago and the only image running through my head was of a Big Lebowksi themed pumpkin. After much hard work and consideration, here is the end result:


The pattern is Richard Nixon with a bowling ball, which avid Lebowski viewers will recognize from a poster on the Dude's wall. Below it says "Abide" but didn't come out very well. Barron made a video of the extravaganza, which you may find here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLyGDO8qtyc

It is quite enjoyable, and there is a surprizing deadly twist at the end, so although it is lengthy, I encourage a complete viewing.

On a whim, I thought I would send a picture of my pumpkin to Lebowskifest.com. And much to my excitement, they posted it on the homepage! http://lebowskifest.com/ It is the third icon to the right in the top row. You may have to hit refresh a few times before you see it, because the pictures rotate each time.

Happy Halloween!

Dear Bethy...

Dear Bethy,
I miss you very dearly and I just want you to know that. This week, I have been very busy and tired because we had a hearing at work and I have been staying up to watch the Red Sox. I hope that my inspiring humorous observations will return after the Red Sox win the World Series. I have just been very tired from staying up for games.

Until they win, I just wanted you to know I miss you and I love you and please don't forget to check in with this blog. And one more thing that I think would be fun is to submit Magic Hat cap sayings. Click below and you can submit ideas for caps, which I think is totally cool. Mike submitted one today that said, "If you eat a cap, it will hurt when you crap."

http://www.magichat.net/getunderthecap/index.php?frame=3

Try one yourself! xoxoxo
Shannon

Natalie Portman will NEVER be nude...

We need more Bort licence plates in the gift shop

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17344563

Bart: "Cool! Personalized license plates! Barclay, Barry, Bert, Bort? Come on, Bort??"

Boy: "Mommy, mommy, buy me a license plate!

Woman : "Come along, Bort"

Random Guy : "Are you talking to me?"

Woman : "No, I was talking to my son, who is also Bort"

McNugget McNugget What!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPd7MtTVbIw

Garbage Day!

... is what I will yell to Barron every time he has to take out the trash! There have been quite a few discussions in recent weeks about me and Barron moving in together. Where and when is up for dispute. The main conflict in what is sure to be an ordeal is the price of what we can afford. Luckily, Barron is a budding real estate tycoon, and suggested perhaps we can move into this "watery paradise" -

Oh God

I haven't even seen this episode yet.... but I can already tell I want to!!!

Barron's Big Day!

So Barron may not have won the lottery, but today he won Super Star Status at work!

Today, Barron was voted Operations Star of the Month by his team. Usually, his boss picks the winner but his team voted for him because he is a good hard worker.

He thinks he won a gift card.

Yay Barron!

Almost time for Halloween!