Welcome Barron!

Barron is now among the few, the proud, the Internet elite who call themselves readers of this blog. Everyone say hi to Barron! Also, we are all very sorry someone tried to sell a used Camaro on your eBay account the other day.

Whatever Happened to Blossom anyway?

I think that is one of Beth's favorite burning questions. I have heard it on more than one occasion. Well good news everyone! Perezhilton has her spotted at Israel's 60th Anniversary of Independence Celebration in LA. Shalom bitches!

Love this pic - Commonwealth Ave mall

Cuss-Cakes

Last night, me and Barron made cuss-cakes. These are Funfetti cupcakes with vanilla frosting which we then defaced with crude words. Below are some of my favorites:

The whole tray:

"Eat Crap"

"SHIT"

"CAULK"

"8===D"


"Boobs" and "Fuck"

"I <3 CUSS"

Cuss-cakes! YUM!

A New Joke

From my sister, Casey -

Q. How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

A. He is the one with the sesame seed buns!

Advice from Beth

Scene - Drinks at White Horse Tavern with Barron and Beth

Barron: So I need some advice....

Beth: DUMP HER!

Flavor of Love

The concept is getting old, but I really wanted to share this delightful artist depiction of the twins on the new season:

Heidi

April this video is a MUST SEE

Desparate request!

Dear Readers,
I have a desparate request of you. As you may or may not know, my mom ruined my favorite purple skirt in the wash. I am still not at terms with this and it makes me nausous to think about going this summer without a new one. It makes me nosh to think the other was ruined.

Anyway, what I desparately need is a picture of me in the skirt. You may remember it is made out of the same material as this shirt but as a skirt (me at my finest):
Extra points if you can tell me what the material is made out of, or if you can find me a new skirt or the fabric online. I am going to ask my mom's friend to look into making me a new one, but I have nothing to go on here. I am desparate for this information. The shirt was purchased at a festival and the skirt was purchased at a store in Cape Cod that I do not know the name of. I have seen other people with this skirt so I know it must be somewhat mass produced. Please ask anyone you know who may have leads!

xoxo Shannon

PS I am completely serious about this mission.

Barcast

A bunch of bars in Boston have installed this thing called barcast (www.barcast.tv). It is a giant LCD TV displaying messages of various things. At any point in time, it could be showing movie previews, trivia, or contests. The screen above is showing a Halloween costume contest asking voters to rate the costume. You can see at the bottom you can also send in text messages. The thing about barcast is they are all connected. The screens all show the same thing regardless of what bar you are at. Sometimes the text messages at the bottom will be like "Hot chicks, please come to Our House West" and things of that nature. The last time I was at Sunset, there was a "Hottest Bartender" competition going on on-screen. I guess it is an interesting concept.
The only real interest I would have in this is sending embarassing pictures to barcast while me and my friends are at the bar. Maybe I will try this when Beth is here. I do not know what the success rate of embarassment this service offers. However, one time Barron was in the bathroom, and I was watching the screen and I see this screen:
Guess which one Barron sent? Hint: it does not involve cougars or Giants.

Happy Valentine's Day to my faithful readers!

Cold and Icy out

A link for April's amusement

Beth will not be happy however....

http://www.deusexmalcontent.com/2008/02/oprah.html

Can someone explain this to me?

That's Paris. I don't know what she is wearing. Hence need for explanation.

Also Barron Hilton (Paris' 18 year old brother) was arrested for a DUI. I told this to Barron (my infamous boyfriend), thinking that he would be entertained because he hates when rich people name their kids Barron (because it is a family name in his family). But he didn't think it was entertaining.

Other Barrons:
Barron Hilton - Founder of Hilton hotels
Barron Hilton - Paris Hilton's younger brother
Barron Trump - Donald Trump's son born in 2006 with Melania
Barrons Magazine - Financial investment and business news
Barrons Educational - Publisher of test-prep books
Barron, WI - Barron, Wisconsin
Kenny Barron - Jazz Pianist
Barron Field - An airfield in Texas
Barron Gorge National Park - a park in Australia
Barron v. Baltimore - A supreme court case involving states' rights

A note on kids summer camps and what you are paying for

Via G-Chat

April: i just remembered there was an elective at that camp called "hermit crabs"

April: and you just played with hermit crabs

April: so dumb

me: HAHAHHAHAHAHA

Rude Boy Riot

Barron's new band played at Harpers Ferry for the first time on Friday night opening up for Paranoid Social Club. There was a huge fight behind the bar after the show (all of the cars in the background are cop cars). None of our friends were involved, so do not fret. This is a great thing for them so Congrats guys!

Gung hay fat choy, bitches!

Welcome to the Year of the Rat. One of my favorite parts of Chinese New Year is what a flattering sign the rat is to be born under. (As opposed to being Born Under a Bad Sign).

One of the hardest working signs from the Chinese zodiac, the Rat usually invokes the image of disease, lice or the Black Plague. The Chinese zodiac actually holds the rat in high regard. And also the typical readership demographic of this blog was born in 1984.

Which means Jenn can rub it in Ryan's face that he is a pig/boar, meheheh (year of the boar actually has a nice description too actually but I digress.)
Rats in real life invoke actually amazing facts despite their nasty reputation and obscene habits of scurrying under my car at the most inappropriate times when I am fumbling for my keys. Maybe they are mad that I do not recognize them as kindred spirits?

What I meant to say was, there is a lot of trivia you may not have known about rats. Such as:

- A rat can last longer without water than a camel
- Rats are omnivores, eating almost anything in their path, including dead or dying rats
- Rats can't throw up
- The first house rats were recorded in Boston in 1775
- The average life span of a rat is 3 years
- Over the period of one year, a female rat can have 3-6 litters of up to 10 rats
- The only naturally rat-free zones in the world are Antarctica and the Arctic
- Certain Alberta, Canada islands are rat-free due to agressive government intervention
- Rats emit a high frequency socially induced vocalization when tickled, equivalent to laughter in humans
- Splinter in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is a ninja rat
- Templeton in "Charlotte's Web" is a Brown rat
- "Flushed Away" is a movie about a rat flushed in the toilet
- A rat can survive being flushed down the toilet (in most situations)
- "Ratatoille" is a movie about a rat who wants to be a chef
- "Willard" is a movie starring Crispin Glover from "Back to the Future" about a man who has control over rats
- "Rats" is a Pearl Jam song
- A group of rats is called a Mischief
- Chuck E. Cheese is a rat

Anyway, rats are the first sign in the zodiac. They are leaders and conquerers. They are charming, passionate, charismatic, and hardworking. They are intelligent, ambitous and stong-willed. They are energetic and versatile. They are charming and an appealing friend to anyone; however, Rats are highly exclusive and selective about choosing close friends for their social circle.

There are a few seemingly bad points that I will brush over (manipulative, controlling, quick-tempered, demanding obedience, etc etc etc). Gambling, drugs, and alcohol tend to be temptations to the Rat. I think the good outweighs the bad overall because we Rats are all awesome.

Rats should avoid Horses (1966. 1978, 1990, 2002) and are best with monkeys ('69, '81, '93),

Good professions include - espionage, psychiatry, psychology, law and politics. I don't know what Beth and Jenn are doing but you both should become spies is what this is telling me.

Happy Year of the Rat!

Youkman

Manny and Youk already getting buff for the season. What nice teammates. Below is what I picture me and Beth will look like when she comes to visit and I bring her through boot camp. Or maybe not.

Tomorrow is Truck Day!!!

There is hope for us yet, as truck day is tomorrow! I can see Spring just over the horizon (if you look past the rest of February and what is sure to be an evil March.) Man I hate March! Truck day is the lovely day when all of the Red Sox equipment is loaded up into an 18-wheeler and carted on down to Fort Myers. And then for a Valentines treat, pitchers and catchers arrive on February 14th.
AND! February 28 is the first Red Sox spring training game. Woo hoo woo hoo woo hoo!

Truck day truck day truck day! Truck day truck day truck day!

Age before beauty?

The Red Sox may be the oldest team in the major league, but the Yankees are the fattest. Thanks to BDD for pointing that out.

Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams follows me around the Internet and other parts of my life for reasons unexplained to me. Today I saw him on a personal fav, pink is the new blog. For some reason, people like his music. I do not. He was supposed to play at moe.down this past summer, which caused me some grief. But guess what? He didn't show up. Even Trent, who likes Adams, thinks he looks like the Colonel -
There was a guy with a bullhorn at moe.down who we all called "The Sheriff." Well the Sheriff had his own theory on why Ryan Adams cancelled last minute. And I quote:

"Please be advised - Ryan Adams will not be playing moe.down because he is a whiny vagina. Please stay tuned for Perry Farrell."

I said to myself, "Self, did he just say Perry Farrell as in Jane's Addiction / Porno for Pyros / Lollapalooza Perry Farrell?"

And God said, "Let Perry Farrell play at moe.down" and Perry Farrell played at moe.down. And God saw that Perry Farrell was much better than Ryan Adams and it was good.

Seriously why didn't he just get booked in the first place? Maybe they didn't want too many people buying moe.down tickets so they said Ryan Adams was coming.

It was a truly awesome experience. If you should need further evidence, seek out the Perry Farrell playlist from moe.down. He also got elected mayor of moe.down and was nice enough to forfeit to a 4'9 mexican guy named Rainbow.

Ocean size

WTF Shill

You got some splainin to do on 38 pitches...

Heroes

Barron and I just finished the first season of Heroes on dvd. And this is what he sent me to celebrate:

"Gorilla" Marketing

Gangstas

Barron bought a Snoop Dogg CD so now he thinks he is gangsta or something. I am thinking of using one of these for a new facebook picture, any votes?

Another joke from Barron

Q. What do Leonardo DiCaprio and a seal hunter have in common?

A. They both like clubbing.


Ed. note - I have no idea why he chose Leonardo as his target but he was

Ed. note 2 - This was the only picture of a seal hunter that did not show a dead seal or soon to be dead seal so you all should thank me for saving you some grief!