Junk Emails at Work Occasionally have Funny Content

Holiday Giving

Christmas is a rough time financially. I have to abort any type of social life for a month to afford spending money on my family, so that they in return can do the same. Some people are easy to buy for, some people are hard (like my mom! Jeez mom). I won't tell you what I am getting everyone yet, but there is one gift I love and can't wait to give to this person.

She falls into the easy category, especially after telling me she loves this particular gift from Oprah's favorite things. I think I even heard her love mentioned by Gossip Girl and then I knew I had to buy it.

Although I hate to give reveal what I am giving and ruin the surprise, I just couldn't wait to talk about this monumental gift:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS APRIL!!!!!

Holiday Memories

Sorry for the lack of updates! I must have indulged in too much Thanksgiving fun because I have been de-motivated to do anything in the entire world. I wanted to update you on my dad's new found love for holiday games however.

As some of you may already know, my dad waited until all of us were over the age of 20 to debut holiday games at the Moore family household. It started on Easter with a racuous round of "Deal or No Deal" which actually had nothing to do with the hit television program.

One year later, much to our disappointment, the game had devolved into a much simpler game where you picked an Easter egg out of a basket and inside was the name of a golfer. If the golfer won the Masters' that day, you got a prize. Lame right!?

Well my Dad has answered our Holiday game loving prayers because this year's guessing game was "Guess What Famous Person I Have Taped onto your Back." My dad printed out papers with famous people on them and you had to guess which one you were. One of the funny parts of this is that my dad's knowledge of pop culture is deeply rooted in the time when me and my sister were in high school, so I can only imagine the pop culture icons that were running through his head.

For example, when I was home my dad asked me if had heard of this great new band called Maroon 5. Apparently he saw them on Ellen the other day and thinks they just came out.

Anyway, the names that he picked weren't too funny. I had Cameron Diaz because my dad insists I look like her which I guess is better than looking like Helen Hunt your whole life. Some comical ones were my sister got Minnie Mouse, which took her a pretty long time to figure out but I guess she was at a disadvantage. The other names involved actors and sports figures of varying degrees.

Jenn Eager was Britney Spears becuase she is a mess with two babies and a delinquent baby daddy. My mom was Shania Twain which she never ended up getting.

My sister tried to cheat because she saw some of the names before the game started but apparently my dad changed them because she saw a tag for Oprah but no one had Oprah. The question in my mind remains: Who would have been Oprah????

Anyway, Jenn won $4 for guessing Britney Spears correctly and stealing money out of our couch.

Cheers! -S

Wedding Video

This is a video my friend sent me showing a couple's first dance at their wedding. I highly recommend watching to the end! Just wanted to share. - S

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=403233

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey faithful readers! I want to say hello to Jenn who has joined the few and the proud which read this amazing page. Unfortunately, not many funny things have been happening lately, but I promise I will post more soon. Maybe my dad will think of a Thanksgiving game to complement his Easter Extravaganza game which we all love so much. I should suggest that to him because it would probably make Jenn's day.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving Day. Please think of me as you enjoy all the foods that I do not. I will be enjoying a nice plate of mashed potatoes. Perhaps even a mashed potato volcano if I am feeling ambitious. Hopefully a few days off will inspire me to write, although my mom's house makes me lethargic and every time I stay there she thinks I have mono.

Please enjoy this lovely Thanksgiving montage and have a pleasant holiday!
xoxox Shannon

Me vs. Gisele

Even though I hate it when people tell me their dreams (as in the sleeping kind, not the dream of someday marrying Johnny Depp kind), I am going to go ahead and tell you this one because I don't think I have any competition on who Barron would choose if me and this particular supermodel were duking it out over him.

In this dream, it all came down to myself, Miss Shannon Iamawesome Moore, and Gisele Caroline Fluffernutter (actually Nonnenmacher but I digress) Bundt Cake (or Bundchen if you prefer). Nice full name Gisele!

Anywho, in said dream Barron leaves me at a New Year's party nonetheless and even goes so far to kiss her at midnight while I am stuck giving them the finger in the corner. Good thing we are going to moe. on New Years or who knows what kind of omen this would be.

Now I know this comparison isn't needed, but I thought I would give you a visual tour of who would rock this contest.

This specimen:

Or this!

This "cowgirl" :


Or This:




I know this is a tough decision especially for all you Gisele lovers out there, but I think we all know who the true winner is here!







No f'n contest needed.

Beth Tell your mom that Fabio is not a Blonde anymore.... and George Clooney dislikes him!

Scandalous!

I found me and Beth's Old Blogs and I noticed we were not gay we were in fact AWESOME!!!!!

Oh dear God,

Don't ask me how I found these but I found them! Me and Beth's old blogs from Freshman year at Boston University. You may be asking yourself, "Wow you and Beth had blogs, were you guys some kind of nerds or something? Wasn't blogging not even in style back then?"

The answer my friends, is me and Beth knew that our awesome-ness needed to be documented no matter what the dorky cost. My question now is should I post the links here for all to enjoy or repost some of the entries one at a time to torture you?

The funniest and/or saddest part about these old blogs is that not much as changed. My blog was called "IheartBowie" and Beth's was "Shuzinator." Although some of the characters we interact with on a daily basis may be different, the relentless harassment is the same.

Some things that still stand or you may have forgotten about:
- Everyone we don't like is somehow labeled with a nickname or if feeling uninspired gay/retarded
- Waffle Brothel
- Bowie, Phil Collins
- Beth loves Clay Aiken
- Beth hated Ugly Beth and now I see someone who looks like Ugly Beth at work and there is also a show called Ugly Betty now
- I do not remember what an electrocuted sloth has to do with anything
- Beth hearts people with Straw Hair
- Supermarket Sweep has not yet returned to the air after 735 days


I could go on, but I just wanted to give you this trip down memory lane. I don't want to waste precious blog days posting old entries so here are the blog links:

I Heart Bowie

Shuzinator

xoxoxo Love you and miss you! S

Dirty Apartments

Recently, my roommate and I have been investing in a cleaning service. It is $90 per cleaning so I give my roommate $50 so he can tip the nice lady or gentleman or ladies or gentleman that come in to clean our hairy bathtub. I know I am holding our cleaners to a higher standard than I hold myself, but I have a couple concerns here about the job they are doing.

First things first, I know this is a weird thing to notice, but they did not clean the top/back of my television although they cleaned the screen. The reason this bothers me is because when I am dusting, I usually go out of my way to get this dust to avoid buildup and then future sneezing fits.

The other thing I am wondering is how they cleaned our bathroom mirror. It looks very clean, but I noticed that when I got out of the shower this morning, it does not steam up in the place where Barron drew a ghost in the steam three months ago.

The only reason I am even thinking about this is because I noticed your computer screen needs cleaning. Click here to clean it!

Fun with Fingernails

Something funny happened the other day but the story requires some light background information. Every two weeks or so, I allow myself a little relax time by going to get a manicure. And sometimes I even let them do my toenails! If you are ever in need of a cheaper end salon in the Boston area, I highly recommend Brookline Natural Nail. I am always greeted with a pleasant "Hi I help you honey!" and they give good cankle massages too. I stopped getting fake nails, and this picture of Sister Patterson from "I Love New York" reminds me why.



Gives me the heebie jeebies. Fake nails are too much trouble and make you look like Michael Jackson dressed as a warewolf is the lesson here.

Anyway, the last time I was at the salon, I requested a design even though I risked looking like a twelve-year old at the middle school ice cream social when they were done. She asked if I wanted a flower, which made me sad because I was reminded of when Flower died on Meerkat Manor. I told her I prefered some lines instead. Unexpectedly, she added some nail jewels on each ring finger, similar to seen below:



Surprisingly, my nail polish lasted well over a week and a half and the jewels stayed on. Usually when I get my nails done, the jewels fall off promptly upon departing the store.

So on Sunday night we were watching the World Series and the Red Sox were being awesome and I realized that one of the jewels had fallen off. I was happy that it had lasted so long! I wondered aloud, "Where has this jewel gone?" About 20 minutes later I looked over at Barron and nearly wet myself when I saw that said jewel was stuck to his lip!!! He looked a little something like this:



Oh Barron, you always make me laugh. I accused him of doing it on purpose but he is really bad at looking for things so there is no way he found that jewel on the floor himself.

Just wanted to share this little tidbit with you! And welcome April to Blog for Bethy. Now I have tworeaders!!!!!

xoxoxo S-dizzle